


Not Exactly The Jungle Book

by narceus



Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Gen, Kid Fic, Pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 22:19:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narceus/pseuds/narceus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Scott has a heretofore undiscovered talent as a baby-whisperer, Derek is really bad at this, Stiles isn't allowed to visit without supervision, and Peter is once again, terrifyingly, the cleverest of them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Exactly The Jungle Book

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [a tumblr prompt](http://c-is-for-circinate.tumblr.com/post/36689400064/crown-of-weeds-asked-you-teen-wolf-dereks) from Crown of Weeds. Because every fandom needs more accidental baby acquisition fic.

The first Scott and Stiles find out about it, it’s because Isaac shows up at school with bags under his eyes for most of a week, looking more tired than he did in the middle of the thing with the kanima.  Stiles catches Scott’s eyes and makes a series of emphatic gestures, all designed to convey,  _really not our problem!_ , until finally Scott rolls his eyes and walks over to Isaac’s side of the cafeteria.

“How’re you feeling?” Scott asks.  ”Is Peter causing trouble again?”

Isaac blinks up blearily.  ”Peter hasn’t been around since he dropped off the baby and left,” he says, and Scott is just glad that Stiles doesn’t have superhuman hearing, because he’d hate to have to do the Heimlich for today’s lunchroom offerings of mystery meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

”There’s a baby now?” Scott asks cautiously, and Isaac nods.

“Peter found it somewhere, but he didn’t say where,” he says.  Stiles would probably say something about how Peter probably pulled it from the wreckage of the home of its dead family, but maybe it was totally innocent.  However a werewolf like Peter could just innocently pick up a baby from somewhere.

“Derek doesn’t want to turn it in because it’s a baby werewolf, so we’ve been taking care of it,” yawns Isaac.  ”Jackson won’t take overnight duty, and neither of them know that trick Dr. Deaton showed us for making it take the bottle when it’s being fussy.”

“That…that’s too bad,” Scott says, in something like horrified fascination.  ”Derek’s got the baby now?”

“Yeah,” says Isaac.  ”Jackson keeps skipping his turn to babysit.”

.

After lunch, Scott and Stiles have another quick, mostly-silent conversation, though this one involves a few vehement whispers along with the gestures.  ” _This is not your pack!_ ” Stiles hisses.  ” _Do you remember how much time and effort you put into making sure Derek would know that it’s not your pack?_ ”

“I can’t just leave them all alone with a baby!” Scott argues back.  ”It’s not the baby’s fault that Derek’s a jerk.”

“Oh, what, like you can help them with a baby now?” Stiles asks.  ”You’re some kind of baby whisperer?”

“I help Dr. Deaton with the puppies all the time!  Isaac says it’s not that different!”

Stiles throws his hands up in the air.  ”Oh, well, if it’s a  _puppy_ ,” he says, and then, “Give me an hour after school to do some research.”

.

Derek looks like he wants to growl and menace, when they show up at the train station, but he has a wailing baby in one arm and a stained spit rag draped over one shoulder, and what looks like the remains of an Oatmeal Incident just clinging to the fringes of his hair.  So mostly, he just looks relieved.

“Did you try holding it over your lap?” is the first thing Stiles says.  ”The internet says that can help when you’re burping a fussy baby.”

Derek glares.  ”I don’t need advice from—”

“Woah, hey, Derek, we’re on your side here,” Scott interrupts as Derek’s eyes flash red.  ”Chill.”

“Wait, wait,” Stiles says as Scott reaches out to take the baby from Derek’s hold.  ”I’ve got to get a cameraphone picture of this first.  Save it for posterity.  Derek Hale, man about the house.”

Derek’s lip curls up into a snarl, and Scott hastily rescues the baby before Derek actually sprouts claws to go along with his rumbling growl.  ”If you’re here to make smart remarks, Stilinski—”

“And I’m putting away the cameraphone,” Stiles says.  ”Look, I’m just here because Scott insisted on bailing your furry ass out, again.”  The baby’s wails are already calming down, as Scott bounces—him? her? it?—gently up and down.  ”What’s the little bundle of werewolf-tormenting joy’s name, anyway?”

“Peter didn’t say,” Derek says, folding his claws away.  Stiles and Scott share a double-take.

“You don’t even know its  _name_?”

.

Which is how Scott somehow finds himself back in the sort of terrifying embrace of Derek’s pack.  He can’t just  _leave_  Mowgli all alone with Derek and Jackson.  What if Peter comes back?

Scott turns out to be kind of a natural.  This is good, because Derek is completely terrible and would rather use his alpha powers to force Jackson to skip school and actually take his share of the babysitting than do any of it himself, and Jackson is somehow even worse.  Isaac isn’t bad, but every time he has to hold the baby, he spends the whole time looking slightly terrified, like he might drop it.  Stiles, well…Stiles is the one who insisted on calling the kid Mowgli.

“He’s being raised by wolves,” Stiles pointed out, totally unashamed.  ”If he were a girl, we’d have to call her Mononoke.  Or Julie, whichever.”

Stiles isn’t allowed around the abandoned train station when Scott isn’t there.  For one thing, he likes to poke at the baby like a science experiment to see what will happen.  For another thing, he likes to poke at Derek like one of those idiots at the zoo who dangle their food just on the other side of the bars from the live tigers, also to see what will happen.  It’s better for everybody if Stiles just…finds something else to do with his time.

“Seriously, you guys have got to help,” Stiles says, not that he’s begging.  ”These people do not know how to cope with a baby.  I don’t think Scott’s slept in days.”

Lydia and Allison exchange glances.  ”And you’re asking us because, as girls, we know everything there is to know about babies from birth?” Lydia asks archly.  Stiles darts panicked glances between the two of them.

“Noooo?” he tries.  ”I’m asking because you’re both as intelligent and good with common-sense stuff as you are beautiful, and you managed to put up with Scott and Jackson for a while, so you already know how to handle little kids and temper tantrums?”

“Nice save,” Allison tells him.  ”The answer’s still no.”

“I’m not part of Derek’s pack, and nothing Peter Hale does has anything to do with me,” Lydia says firmly.  ”Including procreating.”

“I can’t spend that much time with Scott,” Allison says.  ”I just can’t.”  Stiles sighs.

“Then can I at least interest you ladies in some kind of Final Fantasy video game tournament while Scott dedicates himself to being pack parental figure of the year?” he asks.

“Deal,” says Lydia.  ”But you’re bringing the pizza.”

.

Three weeks later, Peter waltzes into the abandoned train station, barely blinks at Scott, who cuts off mid-lullaby and not-so-subtly turns so that his body is between Peter and Mowgli.

“Derek, there you are,” he says.  ”What’s for dinner?  Is Scott staying?”

“Where have you been?” Derek growls, and Peter shrugs disarmingly.

“Visiting long-lost friends.  Being out of the loop for seven years really leaves some catching up to do.  I see the Forrest pup has been doing well.”

Derek is three long strides across the floor in Peter’s direction before anyone has a chance to blink.  ”Where did he come from?” Derek demands.  Peter leans back slightly.

“He’s your third cousin once removed Elena’s youngest.  Elena got married while I was in a coma, did you know that?  No, of course you didn’t, she said you and Laura never made it to the wedding.”  Peter shrugs philosophically.  ”Her husband’s human, of all things.  I offered to foster him out in the name of inter-pack relations while they went up to Vancouver to visit your great-great-aunt Penelope and her sons.”  He pauses.  ”Oh, come on, you remember your great-great-aunt Penelope?  Yea tall, fond of large hats?”

“So…he’s going back?” Scott asks tentatively, holding the baby a little bit tighter to his chest.  Peter rolls his eyes.

“Well of course he is.  Who wants to live with a screaming baby?  Why do you think I’ve been off with your fourth cousin twice removed in Syracuse this whole time?” Peter asks.  ”Now, like I said, what’s for dinner?”

.

Stiles has discovered that he can synchronize sympathetic pats, one with each hand, so he can console Scott and Isaac both at the same time.  ”We knew this day would come, guys,” he says.  ”Mowgli’s probably better off with his own kind.”

“He’s Canadian, Stiles, it’s not like he’s a different species,” Scott says dejectedly.

“You sure about that?  I hear things about those Canadians, on the supernatural events forums…” says Stiles.

“So are you sticking around now?” Isaac asks abruptly, lifting his hung head to fix Scott with a look.  Scott’s shoulder jumps under Stiles’ hand.

“I don’t know, I guess so?” Scott says.  ”Derek’s been a lot better lately, now that there’s no mortal danger going on.”

“Speak for yourself,” says Stiles.  ”That kid started teething while he was here.  Almost bit my finger off.”

“You know,” Scott says speculatively.  ”Derek looks kind of depressed since the baby left, too.”

“You want to get him a puppy or something?” Stiles asks, and Scott and Isaac exchange conspiratorial looks.  ”A  _tame_  puppy?  One that’s old enough to sleep through the night?  That isn’t an actual wolf?  Guys?   _Guys_?”


End file.
